Feeling consumed by thoughts of selfishness/selflessness lately. Decided to channel that into a little unsolicited advice.
“Others first, big circle” is the combustion engine that powers my business values. The size of your circle doesn’t matter nearly as much when it comes to personal life.
Shutting the fuck up can be one of the most selfless, compassionate, and disciplined things someone can do. It sure ain’t easy, but that’s how you know it’s good.
A self-centered friend can still be a good friend. A friend who forgets your birthday can still be a good friend.
If you take a bullet for someone (metaphorically speaking) you don’t ever have to remind them of that.
Overbearing and unwanted ‘selflessness’ can make people very uncomfortable. Check yourself when you’re laying it on too thick. Apologies to all of the amazing grandmas out there.
With that said, in most cases, when someone offers you something, even if you don’t want it, take it. Your acceptance of a gift is a gift for many.
Every group of people has a collective consciousness to it. That applies to your office, a gathering with friends, or even waiting in line with a few others for a coffee. When you can, don’t let your energy negatively affect that collective.
When you do mess that up, which you will, don’t beat yourself up. Or worse, don’t displace the burden of your guilt. DO fight to balance it out by positively contributing to the consciousness next time.
If you’re feeling left out by friends or family, ask to be let in. You’ll be shocked by how effective this is.
Blame is relative. Responsibility is constant.
And lastly, and very obviously, it takes very little effort to profoundly impact people’s moods, self-esteem, ambitions, and feelings. Keep that top of mind every damn day.
- Alex P. Gara, O-I-C
