The Last Dance Exit Interview

Post by 
Alicia Harvey

Without the drama of our sports to compel us, several of our Odditors spent the past two months rallying around the Sunday airings of The Last Dance. When the doc ended, we decided to keep the conversation going and how we can draw it back to our own Oddball sports. Below are some of our favorite answers.

Who is the the Michael Jordan of your league and why?

Eric Pavony (Brewskee®-Ball): Some would say Brewskee-Ball® doesn't have a Jordan (yet). They'd say we have a Bill Russell (Joey The Cat) and a Wilt Chamberlain (Snakes on a Lane).

However, if one had to choose the Jordan of Brewskee-Ball® it would undeniably have to be Joey The Cat. He has won three Cream Jackets (2011, 2012 and 2014) and he has won two World Mugs (2012 & 2013).

It's not just the winning that makes Joey our Jordan, it's the branding. The Cat could be considered the league's first true skeelebrity. He was the first roller with his own personal logo, his own custom rolling attire, the first roller to sell his own line of schwag at national championships and the first roller to obtain personal tournament sponsors. Joey's marketability was as ground-breaking for competitive Skee-Ball®, as Jordan's was for basketball. If you want to nitpick, you can say that Joey losing in two Rollers Final appearances takes him out of the Jordan discussion because Jordan never lost in a Finals. I would say, the fact that Joey has been in 5 out of the 9 Rollers Finals is f#@kin legendary!

Andy Wright (ABC Detroit): I’m not sure we have one - we have a Rodman, a Kerr, even a Wellington, but no Jordan yet.

Matt David (ABC): Rick Swanson. An unreal number of titles and all of them won in the top leagues. Á la Jordan with his tongue out, Rick's many "practice strokes" as he dials in his release will put fear in the heart of most opponents. He does not hesitate to let teammates know they are disappointing him and need to get on his level. Retired from the leagues at the top of his game.

Who is your Dennis Rodman

Andy Wright: Chris Tuccini - it's not even close. If he doesn't show up in a wedding dress claiming to have married himself in my lifetime, then all the costumes and controversies he has brought to the game were for naught.

Jared Sochinsky (The Push): Not in the sense that he's a Rodman personality, but in the sense that he uses a FUCKED up paddle and slaughters everyone that he plays. Pizza Paddle Rich.

Eric Pavony: Skeevi Strauss is tough, scrappy, knows his role and gets the job done. Oh, and he loves to party! Whether it's an individual or team tournament, when he is on the lane he is focused and determined on executing whatever strategy the match requires. As soon as he steps off the lane however, he lights up the room with his party animal antics, humor and macho charm. Skeevi is a roller that will do anything for his skeemates, he will do whatever it takes to win – and he'll do it all with a smile (and a cigarette).

Is there room for a Phil Jackson? Who's that?

Andy Wright: It’s me in the Detroit league - some nights I can't throw for shit but you better believe I can recommend a good book

Andy Zimmerman (Bocce): I fucking wish to anything a Phil Jackson emerges. We’re all still trying to get our own triangles to flow smoothly.

Eric Pavony: Only two legendary World Mug coaches are in this debate – Mastadon (SF) and Willy (ATX).

While Mastadon coached the first-ever World Mug winning team, he only has two World Mugs as a Head Coach (Back-to-Back mind you). He was an Ass Coach in 2016 when San Francisco won their third Mug atop USS North Carolina. However, it was Mastadon's three-roller team that won the clinching championship match for SF on the battleship that year. Mastadon's Brewskee-Ball® coaching resume is no doubt masterful, but the Phil Jackson of the league has to go to Coach Willy because of the mythical World Mug "Skee-Peat".

Willy has been the mastermind behind Austin's recent World Mug dominance. ATX has chugged from The Mug in 2017, 2018 and 2019 – the first-ever WMT Skee-Peat! Sure, the Austin national team is typically overflowing with talent, but Willy's management of his high rollers has been nothing short of perfection. His ability to assemble competitive and unruffled three-roller teams every year has led to an astonishing amount of Austin squads surviving the Group Stage, always giving ATX the advantage down the stretch.

It should also be noted that Willy's coaching style is very "zen", like the Zen Master himself.

The 96 Bulls are considered by some as the best NBA team of all time. Who are your 96 Bulls?

Matt David: Daddys during the Alex seasons. Player Haters Ball during the Blake+Brady seasons.

Alex Gara (ABC): 2019 Shh / Daddy's. Not particularly close.

Stephanie Evard (ABC): I don't feel qualified to answer these questions.

Alicia Harvey: WHO IS THAT

Jared Sochinsky: Ghana with the Wind. They were on course to win their second title in a row until the damn VIRUS shut us down.

Since then there have been a lot of talks of super teams. Put together a super team that could beat your 96 Bulls.

Matt David: Vanessa and Dave Krone running point on either end. 2019 Co-POTYs Lydia and John Brady doing the rest of the damage.

Andy Wright: Sarah Feldman, Kim Fernandez, Nate (I don't know Nate's last name but we're friends, I swear it), Vince Ziols

Eric Pavony: This was a tricky one because there have been so many incredible Brewskee-Ballers over the many skeesons (15 years). Two names continually came up in the discussion as being instantly on this Super Team – Joey The Cat (any year) and Snakes on a Lane (2013). That said, there was a great debate about what roller would fill that coveted third super spot.

William Ocean (2008) was mentioned a lot. He was the first player to successfully employ the Hybrid strategy, used by so many of the best rollers competing today. Ocean essentially was the first roller to do pretty much everything and anything on the lanes. While it's difficult to compare eras, Ocean's dominance, versatility and competitive spirit in the Brown Ball era of Brewskee-Ball®, might still be unmatched.

Phoenix (2017) is hands down the best 40-pocket player of all-time. She hit 72 consecutive forties in the 2017 World Mug championship match. Overall she sank 88 out of 90 possible forties and marked 9 out of 10 possible Full Circles! You add that level of 40-power to The Cat and Snakes Show, uhhhhh, that's insanity!

Trace Face (2015) could be considered the greatest 50-pocket player ever. Her unrelenting onslaught of the fifty in the 2015 Rollers was never-before seen on the national stage. And, donning the Cream Jacket that year did not come easy. She slayed giants! Trace Face was a #4 seed and she took down THREE #1 seeds on her way to the title. She bested Pyle, Joey The Cat and DaVinskee, whoa!

After much deliberation, the Super Team best equipped to beat Brewskee-Ball's '96 Bulls is...

• Joey The Cat (any year)

• Snakes on a Lane (2013)

• Trace Face (2015)

Note #1: It's worth mentioning that Full Circle Jerks in Austin have beaten Skeeva La Raza in local ATX match play.

Note #2: I may have been forced to write Note #1 by Barack Rollbama ;)

If you were to break from your sport for 1.5 years, which sport would you go to join?

Matt David: Croquet, but I gotta buy some white linen pants first.

Stephanie Evard: CROQUET! I'm in the market for some mallets.

Jared Sochinsky: Paddle Ball

How long would it take Jordan to become better than you at your sport?

Alex Gara: I would crush Michael Jordan on any bocce court, anywhere, for any dollar amount. (This is how you bait him into kicking your ass, right?)

Alicia Harvey: Probably about 10 minutes

Andy Zimmerman: With a full commitment and proper guidance, 4 months or less. On his own, recreationally...2 years. That’s right.

Matt David: Two years. I took my actual answer, divided it in half and then subtracted a few more years. Cuz he's the GOAT.

Jared Sochinsky: I think I'd be able to take him no matter what. Height isn't an advantage on a Ping-Pong table. Plus I've seen the footage.

Eric Pavony: While some argued Jordan's hands are too big to ever be truly great at Skee-Ball®, the consensus was, it's goddamn Michael f#%kin Jordan, he'd be Joey The Cat level in 3 to 4 skeesons.



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